you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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