saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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