Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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