Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
