he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
