Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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