I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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