birth control should be required to get into college
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
