I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
