you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
