office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
