I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
