I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
