If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
