She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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