Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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