Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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