3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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