I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
