This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
