Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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