the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
and she was petting her beer can
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
