What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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