its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
