end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
