K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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