he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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