She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
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