are you still at the devil's house?
I bet he comes in French.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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