Pappa wants mamma naked
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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