I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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