Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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