So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
