Welp...herpes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
