The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
