Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
