Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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