pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
