If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
