a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
