so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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