I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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