exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
