we have officially lost it.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
