Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
