genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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