The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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