put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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