Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
