So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
