i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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